Day 310: Can the monkey

July 9, 2011 § 2 Comments



Did anyone order Hearty Tomato and Monkey Soup?

If you’re unfamiliar with the monkey plotline, you can start at the given link, but those of you who are up to date may remember that Rodney was last seen in our apartment on Easter, being pulled from the skin of a turquoise bunny. Stephanie’s 11-year-old brother, Kevin, had snuck him into our apartment by sewing him into the flesh of another stuffed animal. A rebuttal to such a clever idea would have to be twice as cunning. Which is why I stewed up a plan on the plane ride to Portland last weekend for the 4th of July.

It was elegant and simple. I emptied a can of Progresso, shoved Rodney inside and hot glued the lid shut. The only sign he was within the cylindrical tin chamber was some remaining hot glue on the lid and a hand-written addition to the “Ingredients” section:

While no one was paying attention, I slipped the can into the pantry beneath a can of corn. I flew home on Tuesday without anyone in Kevin’s family knowing what lurked among their bread and cereal. The culmination came tonight, as Kevin decided he wanted tomato soup for dinner.  This is what he found staring back at him:

He was bewildered. Aghast. Thunderstruck. And to top it all off, Stephanie managed to catch his reaction on video:

Now, a reader poll: How do you prefer your canned monkey? Chopped? Diced? Creamed?

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