Day 303: File a long-form complaint

July 2, 2011 § Leave a comment

What is a blog if not a forum for long form complaint?

My day started with a fire on the train tracks.

In the midst of an epic thunderstorm last night,  a lightening bolt hit a power line out near the L in the parking lot of my apartment building, which then toppled onto the tracks in a ball of flames.

Shortly thereafter, the power died. It was about 12:30am and I hadn’t even packed yet, so I was forced to do so by romantic candlelight, and as a result, stubbed my toe on the couch and peed on the floor.

Following eight hours of class, I boarded a plane to Portland for the weekend, only to be caught for an hour circling the Minneapolis Airport – my layover destination – because another storm had caused major back up. A trip that should have only taken four hours ended up taking seven.

Fortunately, I was able to catch some shut eye for a bit on the plane from Portland to Minneapolis…that is, until Captain Elbows – A.K.A. Santa with a spray tan – not only commandeered our joint arm rest, but proceeded to drape his flab into the chair next to me. But even after I finally found a comfortable position contorting myself around his droopy arm-sack, I was only out for another 15 before the 7-year-old behind me started to kick my seat like a base drum. If I’m not mistaken, he was pounding out the rhythm to Bon Jovi’s “Living on a Prayer.”

But enough about that. Now I’m in Portland, and I’ve got a 3″ pillowtop mattress with my name on it, which is a significant upgrade to the spring-box-a-la-mysterious-hair that is my vessel of sleep at Engelhart.

I’m out.


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