Day 294: Share a urinal schedule with a professor

June 23, 2011 § Leave a comment

The most in-depth conversations I’ve had so far this quarter have occurred toilet-side.

For those unfamiliar with the terminology, to be on the same “urinal schedule,” two or more persons must consume liquids of roughly the same volume at roughly the same pace, thus their bladders simultaneously achieve capacity and they consistently find themselves in the restroom at the same time.

It just so happens that my professor and I are on the same urinal schedule this quarter. And because I have class four days a week from 9 to 5, we’ve found ourselves side by side in the restroom time and again.

The Gospel of Urinal Etiqutte (according to Paul) states that while in the restroom, a man’s first and only business is to attend to the matter at hand. Interaction with family, friends and acquaintances should not extend beyond a cordial smile. Familiarity is not peritted within the bathroom premises.

Well, apparently my professor was never confirmed in the code, as he has no qualms about holding a conversation before, during and after the exodus. Thus I’ve been forced to answer questions and share my views on our Magazine Innovation Project in the midst of porcelain punishing. Despite the evident multi-tasking, I think I pretty clearly articulated my ideas.

In one instance he was at the urinal and I was headed for the exit when he turned his head and struck up a conversation just as my grabbed the handle. So I withdrew my hand and awkwardly waited for him to finish, being sure to avoid eye contact.

Overall, these dialogues have been pretty productive. Maybe the intimate environment helps elevate the conversation.

Screw the code. Starting tomorrow I’m going to make the restroom my office, just like the Fonz did.


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