Day 170: See someone pee and puke on the train

February 20, 2011 § Leave a comment

I apologize in advance for writing two train-related posts in a row, but late last night/early this morning we saw one guy urinate off of the train and another guy vomit inside the train, and I thought that was too newsworthy to ignore.

The cars on the L have doors inbetween them so passengers could theoretically move from one car to another while the train is moving. However, they are labeled Emergency Exit, and the kind of people who do move between them are looked down upon by everyone else on the train. For instance, if two middle-aged women were discussing their teenage daughters, and one woman said, “Jenny is dating the kind of boy that moves from car to car on the L while the train is moving,” it would be clear to the woman listening that this boy is bad news.

Anyway, we were on the way to a bar for a friend’s birthday when a guy in our car walked out the Emergency Exit and into the nether regions between train cars. However, instead of going into the next car, he looked down toward the ground and just stayed out there. It took a few seconds of us watching him before we realized that he was peeing off the train. Needless to say, it was pretty awkward when he walked back inside a minute later. As the train jerked back and forth and he pulled himself back to his seat, I paid careful attention to which bars he grabbed, making a mental note that his urine-hands had been there.

Then, on the way home around 2am, a guy yakked all over the floor of the car. Luckily, we were not in blast radius. He was on the train for two stops, keeled over and did his business, then got off. The train was really packed considering it was two in the morning, which meant the vomit was stepped in and trekked all throughout the car. I considered taking a picture with my phone to use as a visual with this post, but decided to spare you instead.

The lesson to be learned from all this is that the “five second rule” is null and void on the L. You drop any food on a seat or the floor and it’s instantly contaminated.

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