Day 145: Clean a windshield with my saliva

January 26, 2011 § Leave a comment

Our very dirty car.

Road salt is great for two things: melting ice and getting your car ridiculously dirty.

And so far throughout the winter season there has been no point in washing it off because it immediately gets filthy again the second you take it out. This hadn’t particularly bothered me before. I had kind of grown to disdain car washing from back when I was a personal assistant and had to get four cars washed in the same day. Besides, I figure a little grime on the car I’m driving makes me look rugged and outdoorsy.

When it really became a problem is when I headed out to pick Stephanie up from the airport this evening. A film of salt had adhered to the windshield, and because it was dark, it was nearly impossible to see. The Malibu decided this would be the perfect time to run out of wiper fluid, so the wipers only managed to further blur my line of vision. After about a half mile I found a place to pull over.

I tried cleaning the windshield with my hand but nothing came off. I didn’t want to dirty the sleeve of the nice shirt I was wearing and we didn’t have a towel in the car, so I dug around until I found a piece of fabric to use – the sleeve of Steph’s GPS. Once again, it made little difference when applied to the windshield. I needed liquid.

So I spit.

I used my own saliva to wet the windshield enough to wipe off the grime. And it worked quite well. I was about halfway finished when my mouth started to go dry. Always one to be resourceful, I walked over to the grass and scooped up a handful of clean, white snow. I took a bite and swished it around in my mouth until it became liquid, then spit it on the windshield and kept wiping.

As I climbed back in the car with a completely clear windshield and started driving, I picked up my full water bottle and took a swig. I drained about half its contents before realizing what had been sitting in the cup holder the entire time.

Damn.

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