Day 109: Make love with a dog

December 21, 2010 § 1 Comment


It has been no secret over the past year that Stephanie’s family’s dog, Mocha, and myself have had a tumultuous relationship. The beast treated my body like an all-you-can-eat buffet, and I would cower in a corner every time she came into a room. Stephanie said Mocha could “smell the fear” on me, but I’m not sure it was any more complex than the dog’s instinctual desire to rip me a new one.

Perhaps part of the problem is the fact that I never grew up around dogs, so I’m not exactly comfortable in their presence. My brain seems unable to comprehend differences in breeds. Asking me to remember the differences between a German shepherd and a border collie is like asking me to discuss the dissimilarities between yams and sweet potatoes.

Before we left for Chicago, Stephanie wanted Mocha and me to make amends. She meant to tell me that I needed to make peace with Mocha. Instead, what ended up coming out was, “Tyler, I think you should make love with Mocha.”

While we never made literal love, I would like to think that since I’ve come home over the break that Mocha and I have made figurative love. Maybe we have both grown and matured in our separation, or maybe she is just deterred from eating me by the fact that I spray her in the face with a squirt bottle whenever she comes close.

Who knows – maybe I’ll become a dog lover yet.


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