Day 21: Take a Cosmo quiz

September 24, 2010 § Leave a comment

Stephanie’s Cosmopolitan magazine was sitting on the coffee table when I entered the apartment this afternoon. The front had a picture of former star of The Hills, Lauren Conrad, and headlines that surrounded her included: “Win Anyone Over in 3 Minutes,” “The Part of You He’s Craving More Of,” and “Is He STD-Free? How to Check.” Looking for a way to unwind, my curiosity got the best of me and I opened it up.

While leafing through, I came across the Cosmo Quiz. This month’s topic: Do You Bend Over Backward for Your Guy? I decided to take the quiz, treating my answer to each question as what I would do if I were in that hypothetical situation. Here are my answers and what it all means:

1) Your man leaves the toilet seat up like it’s his job, and it’s getting really freakin’ old. How do you deal?

I chose option A) Cover the toilet in plastic wrap to teach him a lesson next time he pees. If I were able to include an addendum to this answer, I would also elect to leave him an unfavorable surprise in the toilet. At least that is what I do when Stephanie leaves the seat up.

2) For your six-month anniversary, you get your guy:

I chose option B) Some pretty lingerie you’ve had your eye on. What? He’ll benefit too. I’ve always had a hunch that I’d look great in a corset.

3) When was the last time you hung out with your girls?

Once again, I went with B) Monday, when you hosted Real Housewives night. Let’s be honest, this is a win-win-win situation. You get to hang out with your friends, with your dude, and watch silicon women attempt to reactivate their dead tear ducts. A pure slice of heaven.

4) You’ve been on a health kick, but your man picks an all-you-can-eat wings joint on his birthday. You:

No hesitation on this one as I chose C) Leave the place stuffed and with a new nickname: Wing Commander. At this point I was reminded how hungry I was, and began to have impure thoughts about the Buffalo Wild Wings down the street.

5) Your guy insists you’ll love the movie Snakes on a Plane. Yeah…your dad’s nose ‘fro is more entertaining. When he asks what you thought, you say:

I settled on B) “It was hilarious! You know me so well.” I don’t know why this question had to be so snooty. Snakes on a Plane has something for all demographics: snakes, planes, Samuel L. Jackson. It’s easy to understand why “my guy” thought this would be a great date movie.

I scored a 3, which earned me the title “All About You.” The description reads as follows: It’s cool that you have such a full life and rock an independent vibe, but you take it too far. Your routine should change a little when you’re in a relationship. “If you don’t make your guy a priority, he’ll think you don’t care about him,” says Carol Bruess, PhD, coauthor of What Happy Couples Do. Once a week or so, let him call the shots about what you do that evening. It’ll show him you’re committed to more than yourself, which boosts your connection…and that outweighs sitting through the occasional dumb flick or downing a greasy meal.

I closed the magazine, grabbed a Goose Island IPA from the fridge, and turned on Sports Center.


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